A baby is all I've ever wanted.
After almost dying on the operating table,
I despise everything about motherhood,
especially the little girl I brought into this world.
It makes me sound awful; hell; I am awful.
How can I make myself fall in love with a baby
I feel no attachment to?
I don’t recognize my wife anymore.
When I thought I might lose Emma during our baby’s delivery;
she survived only to reject the baby I love so much.
When I hold this baby, I fully understand unconditional love.
How do I make the woman I love want this little girl I would move heaven and earth for.
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I open the door to the guest quarters where we are staying this weekend, and I don’t see him, but his luggage is in the middle of the little apartment. I hear the faucet in the bathroom turn on, then off. The door opens, and out walks my Tyler. He seems to have gained a touch of weight, but it looks good on him, and his hair is very short. His eyes meet mine, and he stops in front of his luggage. He comes to me, but it only takes me a second until I kick the door shut and take off my shirt and he has my bra unlatched.
I don’t say a word to him, and only crash my mouth to his, while I unbuckle the belt on his jeans. Within record time, his pants are off, and his large hands are around me, cupping my ass. He has always been an ass man, but when he trails his fingertips down my back, massaging my butt slow and deep, my core is instantly wet. I need to feel him inside me, and we still have not talked. I pull back and say, “Hi, you.” With a big smile, I move his one hand to the front of me, giving him access to my pussy. As much as he loves my ass, he loves my pussy too. He falls to his knees, looking up at me.
“Hi, to you too,” he says as his mouth finds its way to my core. I’m so wet that all he has to do is touch my inner folds with his tongue and I could cream on him. My hands find their way to his dark hair, and I’m rubbing his head, moaning. “Fuck, Ems. You are so wet.”
“What can I say, I fucking missed you. I won’t last long, Ty. Make me come and do it now.” He always loved my bossiness, and it doesn’t seem to have changed. His tongue works its way, circling my clit, and I’m glad he has not forgotten what makes me hot and bothered. It takes less than thirty seconds, and I hold onto him for dear life as my entire body spasms. “Fuck, Ty. I missed your tongue.”
Standing up, he crashes his lips to mine, and when his tongue collides with me, I can taste myself on him. “I fucking taste great,” I say.
“Yes, you do.” He agrees with me, taking my hand as we find our way to the bedroom. Pulling the blankets back, he places me on the bed, sliding in next to me. “As much as I need to be in you, Ems, I need to take you in.” Settling under the blankets, he pulls them back again as he searches my body up and down. “I want to sit here, holding you for now.”
“Okay, I can agree with that.” With a mischievous look on my face, I continue, “Your dick had better be inside me in the next ten minutes.”
He wears a cheesy smile while I ask, “What?”
“I missed your bossy little mouth more than I can tell you.” He’s pulling my hair back, looking at me intently as if his gaze would burn a hole in my soul. “Shit, Ems, I knew I missed you, but it all hit me right now how incomplete my life is without you.” Placing his hand on my cheek, he strokes my face gently. “Babe, you look good. I mean, I see a little of my old Ems in you right now, and it gives me hope.”
Rising on my elbow and placing my hand on his chest, I feel a tear run down my cheek. “Fuck, Ty, I’m so sorry. I mean, why are you still with me after all the shit I pulled? I put you through so much and here you are.”
“Ems, I would walk over broken glass for you. Don’t you know that by now?” he asks, kissing my forehead. Tyler pulls me close. “Ems, our problems will still find us tomorrow, but for now, all I want is to make love to my wife.” He is right, and for that very reason, we fall onto the bed, in a tangled heap, as he ravages my entire body.
Emma’s hand finds mine, leading me to our bedroom. She hasn’t initiated any affection toward me in a long time. More so, her touch stops me. It is the gentle Emma touch I fell in love with years ago. Turning to her as we enter our room, I see something in her eyes that I haven’t seen in ages. “Ems?” I ask as I desperately want to touch her too. Fuck, do I want to touch her.
“Ty,” is all she says to give me the permission I need; by the way her eyes water and her mouth shows just a hint of a smile, one that has been missing from my wife’s face forever, and I melt. It is less than a second, if that, before I crash my mouth to hers. Her hand instantly finds my hardness, and without thinking, I grab her as she wraps her legs around my waist. “Ty, I need you.”
She takes the words out of my mouth because at this very moment, I have not needed anything as much as I do her now. Once we are wrapped in each other’s arms, the postpartum, the guilt she feels with Aspen, the attempted suicide, the fact she’s leaving for LA soon—it all fades away.
I place her gently on her back. Crawling onto the bed, I straddle her, taking in the sight of my wife. Over the years, her almost raven-colored hair has become a touch lighter, her deep jet black eyes still captivate me, but it is her smile, the way she tweaks her mouth just enough to look both fucking sexy and innocent all at the same time. In her smile, I can forget everything that is against us. Right now, all the shit we have in our past and ahead of us fades, and I’m left with only my wife.
“Ems, I have fucking missed you so much! You are my world.”
“Ty, I’m so sorry.” Hell, now she’s crying. I can’t have that ruining this moment, when the same Emma I fell in love with years ago is back with me.
“Shh, babe, I’m here. I’m yours. I’m going nowhere. See, as much as you have tried to push me away, I’m here.”
Again, she smiles, and this time, when it reaches her eyes, I’m a goner. The things she can do to my heart and, well, other parts of my body leave me speechless. I push her hair out of her eyes and kiss every part of her face, wiping away the tears. After that, I need to be inside of her and have the urge to take Emma roughly. And though I know she loves it when I ravage her, taking her deep and hard, she needs soft and sweet right now.
Standing up briefly, I yank her yoga pants off her while she tries to take care of her shirt and bra. Stopping her, I simply say, “I want to soak in every moment, Ems. Let me do that.” Again, she smiles at me, and my heart is truly hers again. Not that I ever wanted to admit defeat with us, but she’s giving me a glimmer of hope, one I haven’t had since Aspen was born.
I bring Emma up to me and pull her simple black top over her head and reach behind her to unclasp her bra in one fluid motion, something I have been known for. She laughs. “You haven’t lost your move, there, buddy,” she says with a bit of a flirt in her voice. The rasp in her tone is exactly how I remember her when she’s turned on. Oh, how I have missed that rasp.
“Never, babe,” I say as I urgently undress. But she stands, taking control. She slowly unbuckles my belt. Taking it from the loops very slowly, she draws out the need and the desire I have to plunge into my wife right now. But I give her this control. She needs something that is hers. As she reveals my skin millimeter by millimeter, her smile grows.
“Fuck, Ty, your body is like that of an Olympic god.” She has used this little tagline for as long as I can remember. The rasp of her voice causes my dick to stir. It has a mind of its own, and like me, Emma owns it.
I push her back gently and crawl on top of her now that both of us are naked.
Taking her large D cup boobs in my mouth, I massage the nipple with my tongue as a slight moan escapes from her. Wow, I’m turned on when I massage the other nipple with my hand, squeezing the tit with my fingers. Her hand moves to my erection, pumping it the way I like.
Before she can demand entrance, I drop my head between her legs and open those sweet lips. My head finds its way to her wet pussy, and my tongue finds that sweet spot only I know when it comes to my Emma. She starts to writhe, but the second my free hand touches her stomach, she calms at my touch, allowing her the ability to enjoy the upcoming orgasm. The more I work her clit with my tongue, the more I can feel her release building. In a matter of seconds, she’s pushed over the edge and comes all over my face. I can’t help but lap up every drop of her.
I don’t give her any time to think, though, as now I’m in front of her face. Her greedy little pussy is waiting for my entrance, and I don’t disappoint. I ram into her hard, and she smiles that sexy fucking smile again, but then I slow. I want to relish every little movement I make inside her.
Looking deep into the black irises of hers, I realize I love her more, more than I care to admit and more than I ever thought possible. This time, Emma has given me hope.
Now that we are finally together after our time apart, we move in motion as if we were never apart. I grab her face, moving slowly and methodically, relishing every second I’m with my wife. I make her look in my eyes, and I continue to soak her in and burn this to memory.
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Leigh Lennon is mother, veteran and a wife of a cancer survivor. Originally with a degree in education, she started writing as an outlet that has led to a deep passion. She lugs her computer with her as she crafts her next story. Her imaginary friends become real on her pages as she creates a world for them. She loves pretty nails, spikey hair and large earrings. Leigh can be found drinking coffee or wine, depending on the time of the day.